Every so often, a book of practical philosophy arrives dressed as a self-help guide and quietly rearranges how millions of people think. \

The Courage to Be Disliked is one of those. 

First published in Japanese in 2013 and translated into English in 2018, it has since sold well over ten million copies, become a bestseller, and earned itself a place among BookTok fans. 

Kishimi and Koga take the ideas of psychologist Alfred Adler and hand them to a philosopher, who spends his evenings in conversation with a frustrated, disillusioned young man convinced that happiness doesn’t belong to everyone and may be out of reach – calling the world a chaotic mess of contradictions in the process.

The whole thing plays out as a dialogue reminiscent of Socrates, but don’t let that put you off. It’s far less dry philosophical theory than you would encounter in lecture halls and far more a conversation that explores Adlerian psychology, while keeping you hooked on every page.

Is the world really that complicated? Is happiness available to everyone without exception? Can people change? The young man and philosopher focus on these themes, engaging in lively debate while you can sit in on the show. 

What makes this book special is that many of the counterarguments and thoughts of the young man are ones we ourselves have.  

Adler argues that your past doesn’t define your future. Going further, the philosopher makes a claim that might turn your own worldview on its head — almost every problem you have comes down to other people and interpersonal relationships, and if you choose not to people-please and separate your own tasks from other people, it is only then that you can really understand freedom and the true simplicity of the world.

One of the most interesting ideas in the book is the separation of tasks, a blunt question about whose problem a given worry really is. 

Another person’s view of your choices, the philosopher argues, is their task and not yours to manage or worry about. While it may appear cold at first glance, if put into practice, this could lessen the anxiety we feel about trying to fit into others’ expectations and worldviews. 

The chapters are digestible, and the conversation is at a gentle enough pace for many readers to follow without too much effort. However, we can’t forget that this book focuses on psychological and philosophical concepts, so you will encounter repetition throughout the conversation.

There is also an important aspect to note, especially for anyone interested in self-help or undergoing therapy.  There is an assertion that trauma “does not exist,” and this lands just as bluntly as many of the other concepts explored in the book. While it is not presented as a clinical assessment or as invalidation, but rather as a starting point for a debate on whether past events can dictate our future actions, this remains a contentious aspect of the authors’ work. 

If you like your philosophy debated rather than handed down, and you can stand being needled a little along the way, this is a book worth five evenings of your time.

Other works by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga

The pair reunited for a direct sequel, The Courage to Be Happy (English translation 2019), which rejoins the philosopher and the youth some years on and wrestles with the harder task of living these ideas day to day. 

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For more philosophy, psychology, and the sort of non-fiction that rearranges your worldview, wander through the Victoria Freudenheim archives. We’ve reviewed hundreds of books, from literary classics to BookTok sensations, so there’s bound to be something to capture your imagination and challenge your perspective. Find your next mind-changer in our top-rated collection.